black

I had a nicely written post but it sort of drowned in my fuse with my stupidity.
Here’s a refreshed one.
English and Math test this week and over and done with!
ANOTHER math test next week or maybe the week after, and accounts assignment due 2 weeks from now.
The end of the semester is dawning nearer and im amazed of how time flew by just like that.
I have not gotten enough of college.


***
We carry our life like a routine,
Doing things subconsciously like looking at your phone the minute you wake up.
I don’t know about you but has there ever hit you or come a time you just question your purposes.
Like what do I want, what do I need.

For me it starts with a sinking sort of sick in the stomach feeling and then you just shut out everything at the moment and question; is any of this worth it?
Im glad it has reasonably reduced over the years but occasionally it gets to spins itself around me again.

I for one know exactly what I want in a “I-want- butter-not-cheese” way.
I never liked the idea of swimming along the current just because everyone does.
But i never said its incorrect.

But its the fact of what do I want from everything, what do I expect out from everything?
I throw myself into situations where I know has no ends to it.
Of things I know I already have the answer for but demand for you to tell it to me face to face.
Of things you’ve told me repeatedly that it becomes nonsensical yet to me it is still a happy drug, and assuring ticket to contentment and calm.

I demand for the thought but I am giving none.


What is it that I want?
Because my falters is making you wonder, ‘what is it that you want’.

I want everything you can possibly offer.

BTW;
craving for green tea frap